7:45 By Mykia Washington

7:45.
Stand still.
Right there just like that.
Don't move... Stay just like that.
That's what I told myself in that instant.
I loved myself for 8 minutes and 15 seconds.
 
I loved the wilderness of my hair,
the nature of my acorn eyes,
the earth-toned sun-kissed beauty of my skin,
the permanent beauty mark that lay beneath my nose,
and the angelic blossom of my rosebud lips.
 
8 minutes and 15 seconds...

I saw angels and looked forward to leaning into your light.
But, the truth is I experienced demons.
He gripped onto my childlike ponytail,
His grip so tight I… completely disillusioned thought that he was trying to help me fly.
Why else would he hold on so tight… he didn’t want me to fall of course.
I… I was so naive I never realized that he was trying to cut my hair until he had succeeded.
Until I watched each strand of my beauty,
Each strand of  passion,
Each strand of power,
Each strand of strength fall to the ground!
My hair.
My hair.
 
I could feel myself choking on daffodils as if they had blossomed within the pit of my throat.
I maintained a pleasant smile and kept quiet despite this unbearable sensation.
I was dying inside.!
 
she whispers, “your voice is beautiful”.
 
My voice shatters then breaks like broken glass.
Scarring my toes stepping on shattered statements and broken self-esteem…
You look into my eyes and still like water you see your reflection in me.
 
How...How could I have known that I didn’t owe you...
 
Had I not known love...
How could I have known the difference?
How can one identify what’s right and what’s wrong if one has never known love?
 
I was dying inside.
she whispers, “your voice is beautiful”.
And in that moment I loved myself,
Yeah,
for 8 minutes and 15 seconds… I loved myself.
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