[No Title]
A spoken word piece by Cayla Johnson

There was this guy
He had thick hair to cover his thick skull
He had a close knit family
A big one
They welcomed me and loved me as if I was his Mrs. Already
It was a sloppy and sweet love like
Our sloppy and sweet sex
It was immature and hard-headed
Like a toddler and her play date
We weren’t goin anywhere
But Lord knows I tried to take him
There was this other guy
Who gave me a glimpse
A taste
Of some real love
That let me make sure you haven’t spiraled into your seasonal depression even though we ain’t together
That smack of passion on my ass as I throw it back while I’m in town like a throwback
That sitting on your ass for hours as I go over your new growth with fresh fingers, excited to touch any part of you after months of no contact
That love where we’d make it til your parents came home or I tapped out
Whoever came first
We’d make sure to come again
And again
And that love that has been growing since our monogamy died
Since I killed it with my bare hands
But then there was this girl
After those two guys
Whom I hadn’t noticed
Yea I saw she was attractive and fun and ravaging and young
But what I didn’t realize
Was how much we’d have in common
I didn’t realize how much she’d have my back
I didn’t realize
That I was the girl of my dreams

Become Concerned
To whom this may concern
Let me ask you
When did you begin to become concerned
Become consumed
I mean really immersed
Into your outside image
When was the first time
Just try to recall with me
The absolute, first time you looked at your hands and noticed every line
Every crevice and shape and wrinkle and hated your mother for giving them to you
When you looked a little closer at your bright face and nose and decided it took up a bit too much space on your oily pre-pubescent face
Or how about the time your breasts stopped being a first time budding and became a hassle
You remember that baby
Yea in some way you do
But tell me this
Do you remember the first time
You chose to get a needle longer than your pinky
Struck through your nose and replaced with a diamond stud
That feelin, that glisten, that new rush of admiration
Or the first time he held up ya chest while you rode him like a wild bull
How you haven’t felt that freedom since childhood
You remember how it felt to look at yourself after a full body rubdown with the smoothest shea butter known to man
Untouched by man
Too angelic for earth
I could float away right then
This body is pure bliss
I get a reassuring kiss
Right here, over there, between these and between those
Don’t forget the encouraging spank back there
Plus a lick on every inch of my skin
Yea yea they let me know
I’ve been shown loads of admiration
But tell me what’s better than a self-proclamation
I’m talkin leave the weak ones devastated
When you realized your comfortability made others uncomfortable
Your new found love of you
The first time you decided to make
The world yours and be your own planet at the same time
You were able to compare and contrast and clearly conceive the idea that self-love and liberation were synonymous
That you’d never accept the same treatment
The same back burner
Once you realized they weren’t healing you none